10 Things Guys Secretly Find Attractive

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: September 28, 2021 References

What does the other gender really want? To answer this great mystery of the heteroromantic dating world, you'll first need to infiltrate Facebook's server HQ. Once you've accessed the top secret database of men's thoughts, just... sorry, is this too much effort? All right, there are a handful of simpler tricks and ideas that have a good shot at turning men's heads or pushing a budding relationship in a more intimate direction. Good luck out there!

Method 1

Method 1 of 10:
Making the first move

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Buy him a drink or ask for his phone number. A whopping 95% of single men in the US like the idea of a woman making the first move. Keep up that daring, assertive style by being the first to lean in for a kiss.^{[1]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 10:
Tilting your head

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Chin down, eyes up. Who knew looking sexy was so easy? Men find women hotter when they strike this pose.^{[2]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 10:
Carrying a book

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It shows off your interests and makes for an easy conversation starter. You'd be surprised how many guys get scared away because they couldn't think of what to say. Put your book on the bar to give them a topic to start with.^{[3]
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Method 4

Method 4 of 10:
Showing off your silly side

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Share your secret ridiculous interests or weird hobbies. It's not just passionate nights and sexy outfits that stick in a man's head—the goofy, quirky, incredibly you moments can be the most endearing of all.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Don't be afraid to share the deep secrets of your Netflix history or the walrus tooth collection hiding in your closet.^{[5]
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Research source}

Method 5

Method 5 of 10:
Laughing at his jokes

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Men use humor to show off, so reward it when you're interested. A lot of men crack jokes to impress women, whether or not they're any good at it! Give them a chuckle if you want to signal you're a willing target.^{[6]
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Research source} You can even have it both ways and still mock-complain about how awful his puns are afterward—a little teasing is a great part of flirting too!^{[7]
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Method 6

Method 6 of 10:
Asking for help

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Men love to feel needed and knowledgeable. It's a little "damsel in distress", but it's effective. If you don't feel like play-acting, wait until you have an actual question or problem, but save it for the guy you're interested in.^{[8]
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Method 7

Method 7 of 10:
Giving playful touches

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Flirtatious touches are a great way to turn a guy on. Men in many cultures aren't used to physical intimacy, so even a little contact can give him shivers. Turn and grab his arm when you want to ask him a question, playfully kick him under the table if he teases you, or, for a big move, touch your hand to his cheek or chin.^{[9]
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Method 8

Method 8 of 10:
Enjoying your food

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Show that you're uninhibited and ready for a good time. At the restaurant, that is. Good food and romance are both about enjoying life, not restraining ourselves and worrying about sauce on our hands. Order something delightful and indulgent.^{[10]
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Method 9

Method 9 of 10:
Wearing his clothes

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Go for that next-morning dress shirt look. It says something both sexy and intimate: you slept over, and now you're claiming his clothes.^{[11]
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Method 10

Method 10 of 10:
Sharing adventures together

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Excitement and even fear heightens attraction.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Think outside the box and plan a date that will get his blood pumping: rock climbing, a haunted house, live music, or something as simple as surprising him with a unannounced drive to a place he's never seen before.^{[13]
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Community Q&A

Question

How does attraction develop?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

A guy will be attracted to a girl if he admires her. This attraction isn't just physical—it's also emotional, spiritual, and intellectual.
Question

What are the 2 factors of attraction?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Excitement and tension are the 2 factors that equal attraction. Excitement provides connection, while tension provides a challenge; having both is what truly makes some attractive.