How to Text Your Boyfriend's Mom

Co-authored by Hannah Madden

Last Updated: September 27, 2021 References

Building a solid relationship with your boyfriend’s mom is almost as important as maintaining a strong relationship with your boyfriend. A great way to strengthen your bond and show her that you’re interested is to text her throughout the week. We’ve compiled some things you can talk to her about to spark fun, lively text conversations. Keep reading to learn what to say, how to say it, and which topics to avoid with your boyfriend’s mom.

Method 1

Method 1 of 11:
Be yourself.

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There’s no need to change your personality for your BF’s mom. While you should probably avoid swearing too much or saying anything too personal about your boyfriend, you can still joke around and have fun with your boyfriend’s mom. If you use a lot of emojis when you text, keep doing it! If you tend to say “lol” or “lmao,” don’t censor yourself! His mom should get to know the real you.^{[1]
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- If you and your boyfriend are in a newer relationship, you might want to check in with him about his mom’s texting and communication style. It could be that she prefers calls or face-to-face chats over text messages.
- Feel free to share things about your own life, too. You can keep his mom updated on what’s going on with you so she gets to know you more.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 11:
Share a funny story.

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Is there something your boyfriend did that you can’t stop laughing about? Text his mom about it! Parents love to hear goofy stories about their kids, and it can be a fun way to bond with her. Make sure the story is appropriate, and try not to swear or go into anything explicit. You could text her something like:^{[2]
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- “OMG Chris accidentally called our waiter “mom” today. I can’t stop laughing about it.”
- “Did you know that Zack can burp on command?? It’s all I’ve been hearing today.”
- “We saw a woman who looked just like you today! Liam totally almost ran up to her, haha.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 11:
Ask about her life.

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Show an interest in her friends and her hobbies. Even though she’s your boyfriend’s mom, she’s still a human being, too! If you know she has a fun event coming up or she just went and did something cool, shoot her a text and ask her about it. She’ll appreciate that you’re interested in what she gets up to, and it’s a great way to make a good first impression. Try something like:^{[3]
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- “How’d your gardening club go last night? Are your roses doing okay?”
- “Have any book recommendations for me?”
- “Did you visit your cousin last week in Florida? How’s she doing?”
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Method 4

Method 4 of 11:
Ask about your boyfriend’s childhood.

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See if she has any funny stories about him growing up. While this is a good in-person conversation topic, it can be fun to hear about these things over text, too. If you aren’t quite sure what to talk to your boyfriend’s mom about, try something like:^{[4]
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- “Was Sam always such a picky eater? All he wants to eat is pizza!”
- “David has some hilarious stories from his childhood. Was he the class clown?”
- “What was Jacob like as a kid?”
- “Do you have any embarrassing stories about Mike you could share?”

Method 5

Method 5 of 11:
Invite her to family events.

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Instead of waiting for your boyfriend to reach out, you text her! Since you’re her son’s partner, an invite from you will feel extra special. If there’s a family dinner or a holiday party you want to invite her to, send her a quick text with all the details. It will make her feel included, and hanging out in person is a great way to get to know her more. Try something like:^{[5]
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- “Hi Susan! Are you free on Friday? We were thinking of having a little family dinner and we’d love it if you joined us.”
- “Hey! What are your plans on Christmas Eve? Jeff and I are thinking about hosting a family get-together at our place.”
- “Hi! Do you want to come over for dinner on Saturday? My parents are in town, and it would be fun to get everyone together.”
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Method 6

Method 6 of 11:
Compliment her children.

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Make your boyfriend’s mom feel good about her kids. If your boyfriend has any siblings, feel free to include them in the compliments as well! You can also tell her just how good of a job she did raising everyone. Try something like:^{[6]
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- “You did such a good job raising Henry. He treats me so well.”
- “All of your kids are so polite and respectful! You’re such a good mom.”
- “I was so impressed when I met Harry’s little sister. She’s an amazing kid!”

Method 7

Method 7 of 11:
See if she needs help with anything.

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If there’s a big gathering coming up, reach out with your support. You could offer to pick up food, help set up, or buy fun decorations. She might not accept your offer, but it’s always nice to reach out. If she has any little kids, you might also offer to babysit. Try something like:^{[7]
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- “Do you need us to pick anything up for the party on Friday? I could hit the grocery store before we come over.”
- “I have an extra folding table I could drop off if you need it!”
- “Are you busy today? Do you need me to watch the kids?”
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Method 8

Method 8 of 11:
Talk to her about plans to visit.

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If his mom lives far away, see when she’s coming over next. Your boyfriend can reach out to her, but it will be much more meaningful if you send her a text about her plans. See where she’s staying, if she wants to stay with you, and how long she plans on visiting for. This is also a good way to set boundaries if she tends to show up unannounced. Say something like:^{[8]
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- “Hey! Heard you were coming to visit next month. Do you have an idea of how long you’ll be staying for?”
- “Hey Krista! I’m excited to see you next week! Are you still planning on staying with us?”
- “Noah told me that you might be planning a trip out here. Do you know when you’re coming to town?”

Method 9

Method 9 of 11:
Text her on holidays.

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Her birthday, Christmas, and Mother’s Day are all important. While it’s nice to hear from her son, she’ll probably appreciate hearing from you, too! Send her a quick text to let her know you’re thinking about her. Be sure to personalize your message so it seems really special. Try something like:^{[9]
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- “Happy Birthday, Debra! I hope your day is as special as you are. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
- “Merry Christmas! Jake and I can’t wait to come and visit soon. Here’s a photo of us in our Christmas PJs!”
- “Happy Easter! Do you have anything fun planned for the day?”
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Method 10

Method 10 of 11:
Set boundaries if you need to.

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Sending a quick text is a nice way to set firm boundaries. If something comes up and you can’t have an in-person conversation about it, you can text your boyfriend’s mom about the issue. Or, you can set boundaries for an event ahead of time so it doesn’t become an issue. Keep in mind, though, that talking about your boundaries in person or over the phone might be more productive; however, if you need to text about them, you can. You might say something like:^{[10]
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- “Hey, I really appreciate you wanting to help cook tonight. However, since it’s my kitchen, I’d prefer to take the lead on this one. If you could bring a salad, though, that would be great!”
- “Hey Jenny, thanks for dropping off those books earlier. In the future, would you mind calling one of us before you stop by? That way, I can make sure I’m decent, haha.”
- “Thanks for watching the kids today. Next time, would you mind checking in with me before giving them sweets? We’re really trying to watch their diets.”

Method 11

Method 11 of 11:
Stay away from politics or religion.

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If you wouldn't talk about it in person, don’t bring it up over text. Topics like these tend to be very divisive, and they can cause arguments in the blink of an eye. Don’t message your boyfriend’s mom about anything you two disagree on, especially if you know she feels strongly about it. If she tries to bring it up, it’s okay to ignore the message.^{[11]
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- You should also try not to talk badly about your boyfriend to his mom. Although it can feel nice to vent to someone, revealing details about your relationship can hurt you both in the long run.
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