How to Get My Girlfriend to Stop Smoking

Last Updated: December 24, 2021 References

It’s natural to want someone you care a lot about to quit smoking, especially when they’re your girlfriend. You may be worried about your girlfriend's health, her finances, or her overall happiness. Cutting out smoking could be a huge weight off of her shoulders, and yours too. She needs to decide to quit herself (after all, you can't do it for her!), but there are a lot of ways you can help make it easier for her. Check out the tips below to learn how you can take steps to get your girlfriend to stop smoking for good.

Method 1

Method 1 of 15:
Tell her how you feel.

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Your support could help your girlfriend finally commit to quitting. Gently, let her know how her addiction affects you. The choice to quit will need to be hers, but that doesn't mean you can't express how much you'd love to see her quit smoking. Remind her that your motivations come from a place of love but be careful not to use guilt as a means of convincing her. Ask questions to help talk through her potential decision to quit.^{[1]
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- "You're really important to me and so is your health."
- "I want to see you getting to be as happy as you possibly can be, and I don't think that'll happen as long as you're smoking."
- Just because a conversation happens, don't assume she'll quit right away. Stay positive, be patient, and don't give up on your girlfriend!

Method 2

Method 2 of 15:
Talk through your own experience.

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If you've quit smoking already, that could serve as an inspiration for her. Your girlfriend will need to think about her motivations for quitting before she starts the process. By outlining yours for her, you might help her shed some light on her own. There are so many reasons someone might become set on quitting, like:^{[2]
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- Financial gains.
- Long term health benefits.
- No longer exposing loved ones to second-hand smoke.
- Cosmetic benefits.

Method 3

Method 3 of 15:
Wait for an opening.

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A conversation about quitting should happen on your girlfriend's terms. Be on the lookout for signs that she’s considering kicking nicotine. If your girlfriend gives you a natural opening, that could be a great time to encourage her to quit smoking. Conversations about quitting may arise when she asks for your advice or opinion.^{[3]
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- "I’ve been thinking, I spend so much money a month on cigarettes. I wonder if I should find a way to cut back. What do you think?”
- "I’m starting to get a little worried about my health. Should I try to quit smoking?”

Method 4

Method 4 of 15:
Make a plan.

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A specific quit-plan can help with the stress and uncertainty of quitting. First, she’ll want to list her reasons for quitting, so she has motivation when the journey gets hard. Next, pick a quit-day and mark the calendar. Be careful not to put this too far in the future, as this can make it harder to follow through. Below are some things that you can help your girlfriend prepare prior to her quit-day.^{[4]
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- A list of smoking triggers to avoid.
- A clean house that doesn’t smell of smoke.
- A list of online resources and phone apps that can help her quit.

Method 5

Method 5 of 15:
Find her a support group.

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Support groups can be extremely cathartic to those quitting smoking. A support group means connection, understanding, extra accountability, and more community for your girlfriend while she tries to stop smoking. Overall, it can help her feel more hopeful and uplifted. This should have a positive effect on her quit attempt's success and her mental health throughout the process.^{[5]
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- Check for support groups in your area.
- Or, if you’re looking for a more flexible option, support groups are now offered online as well.

Method 6

Method 6 of 15:
Provide her with the tools to succeed.

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Nicotine replacements and crunchy foods can be help quitters stick with it. When she decides to quit, she may choose to start with a nicotine replacement option. She’ll likely talk to her doctor about the best option for her, and when she’s made a decision, you can be the loved one who keeps her house completely stocked with her pick. Some things you could stock her house with include:^{[6]
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- Nicotine gum, patches, or spray.
- Straws to chew on.
- Cut up veggies for her to crunch.
- Popcorn to snack on throughout the day.

Method 7

Method 7 of 15:
Encourage her.

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When someone tries to quit smoking, they’ll need moral support. It can feel so difficult to stay positive when facing withdrawals, cravings, and a long road ahead, so encouragement from loved ones will be huge. It’s best to offer this support on your girlfriend’s terms and without overwhelming her. So, let her know you’re there if she needs a smiling face and ask her to tell you if your encouragement becomes too much.^{[7]
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- ”You’re doing great. I’m so proud of you!”
- ”This must be so hard, and I want you to know that I’m right here with you. You got this!”

Method 8

Method 8 of 15:
Listen to her.

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Your girlfriend will be more likely to succeed if she feels understood. If she feels like she can vent about her struggle without being judged, it’ll help her chances of successfully quitting. Not only will it bring the two of you closer together in your relationship, but it’ll also mean less chance of a relapse. Ask her open-ended questions to help her talk through her feelings.^{[8]
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- "What would you say are the biggest struggles you’re facing right now?"
- "What about quitting excites you most?"
- "Is there anything that scares you about quitting? Can I help you talk through those worries?"

Method 9

Method 9 of 15:
Stick to positive comments.

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Scolding your girlfriend might make it harder for her to quit. Even though negative comments would likely come from a place of love and concern for your girlfriend's long-term health, it's still best to avoid them. Nagging can be detrimental to your girlfriend’s attempt to quit, and it can even hurt your relationship.^{[9]
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- Don't say, "Don’t drink that coffee, you know it brings on cravings.” Instead, try, “Hey, it’s your call. But would you want to get a cup of tea instead? I could pick some up from that place you love.”
- Don't say, "You can’t slip up again. Imagine going through this another time." Instead, try, “You’ve made it two weeks and three days! Wow, that’s amazing. I’m so excited to watch you finally kick smoking for good. I’ll be here for you the whole time."

Method 10

Method 10 of 15:
Help reduce her stress.

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Less stress for your girlfriend means less chance that she has a slip. For many people, negative feelings, like stress and anger, may be triggers for nicotine cravings. So, if there’s any way that you can help her ease tension in her life, that’s going to reduce the chance that she's tempted to relapse.^{[10]
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- Encourage her to make healthy choices for herself, like eating and sleeping well.
- Help her stick to an active lifestyle. Join her for long walks, bike rides, or swims.

Method 11

Method 11 of 15:
Congratulate her constantly.

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Your girlfriend’s quitting journey is worth daily celebration. What she’s accomplishing is extremely tough. If you can make her feel supported, understood, and appreciated for her efforts, she’ll have that much more motivation to run on.^{[11]
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- Find reasons to make seemingly small milestones a big deal.
- Buy her a special treat to celebrate each day, week, and month without a cigarette.

Method 12

Method 12 of 15:
Be a welcomed distraction.

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When quitting, she may struggle to cope with the loss of smoking. It’s not uncommon for those who quit smoking to deal with mental health issues throughout the process. If you can keep her mind off of smoking while also adding positive moments to her week, you’ll be doing her a huge service. ^{[12]
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- Take her to a yoga class. Or, find one online and join her for a practice in the living room!
- Turn on music she loves and dance it out in the kitchen.
- Or, offer to join her in something she's passionate about. If your girlfriend is a skateboarding extraordinaire, take her to the skate park for a few hours!

Method 13

Method 13 of 15:
Help her through withdrawals.

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During withdrawal, she’ll need understanding from those around her. She may experience anxiety, depression, irritability, restlessness, trouble concentrating, and trouble sleeping. To help her quit, the best thing you can do is stay positive and take any changes in her behavior in stride. You could even find ways to help her fight her withdrawal symptoms, like:^{[13]
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- Offering to join her on a quick run around the park if she's feeling jumpy and restless.
- offering to skip that last, mid-afternoon cup of coffee with her. Caffeine’s effects last longer in someone who’s just quit smoking.
- Gently reminding her that this is totally natural for a body getting used to itself without nicotine.

Method 14

Method 14 of 15:
Be supportive if she falters.

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If she relapses, your encouragement will be important. If your girlfriend falls back into her old smoking habits, stay positive about her previous attempt to quit and avoid blame, tough love, and guilt trips. Remind her of how long she went without a cigarette and congratulate her for her efforts. You can also explain that relapses are completely normal. Every attempt just teaches her more about how she'll finally quit for good!^{[14]
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- "That was a great try. Next time, you'll be even more prepared to take on the challenge."
- "I want you to know that I'm so proud of you for that attempt. If you decide to go for it again, I'll be right here to support you."

Method 15

Method 15 of 15:
Be prepared for a long road.

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The struggle to quit smoking can last months. You should get comfortable with the fact that your girlfriend’s timeline might be long and might come with ups and downs. Relapses and slips are common for people trying to quit, so that’s another reality you should be prepared to face.^{[15]
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- If you yourself are having a hard time supporting her while maintaining your mental health, reach out to your own support system.
- Make sure you still make enough time for yourself each week. Prioritize doing things you love, getting good rest, exercising, and eating well.