How to Deal with an Aquarius Man Who Is Distancing

Co-authored by Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: December 15, 2021

Your Aquarius man is most likely thoughtful, intelligent, and creative—it’s no surprise you’ve fallen for him! But his unpredictable nature and desire to run from emotions might have you spinning in circles. Sometimes an Aquarius needs time alone to think and sit in their feelings, but what are you supposed to do in the meantime? How do you deal with his sudden alienation? Don't worry, we’ve compiled lots of good ways you can deal with the distance.

Method 1

Method 1 of 11:
Give him space.

1
Letting him miss you can encourage him to close the distance. Aquarians are often outcasts. Although they thrive in group settings, they need to be alone as their contemplative thoughts weigh heavily on them. He may not know how to express his emotions, and in the process of trying to figure it out, he shuts you out. To him, emotions are just another problem to solve. Give him the space he needs to think things through.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Time apart can be beneficial for both of you! Giving him space will also allow you to think about how you’re feeling.
- If you live in the same space, avoid sitting in the same room as him.
- If you live apart, don’t text or call him for a few days.
- Know that his distancing may not always be about you. Aquarius men have a lot of conflicting emotions and traits, and that can cause inner turmoil.
Advertisement

Method 2

Method 2 of 11:
Be understanding.

1
Showing him you care can strengthen your relationship. Aquarius men are downright complicated. Every Aquarius man is different, but they are all undeniably moody. He may be excited one day and sad the next. Ultimately, he’s on an emotional rollercoaster and that can be distressing for him and you. As a response to his own complex emotions, he may distance himself from you. The best thing you can do to deal with his moodiness and alienation is be empathetic.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Try to comfort him with actions and words. Be there for him when and if he’s ready to share.
- Observe what triggers his sudden alienation. Was he watching a particular TV show before he went quiet? Did a conversation about his family cause a change in tone?
- Make him his favorite meal or start watching his favorite movie knowing he’ll hear it in the other room. These small, mundane actions can mean the world to an Aquarius man because they silently show him you care.

Method 3

Method 3 of 11:
Talk to him.

1
Starting a conversation can make him realize what he’s missing. Being guarded, it can be difficult to reach an Aquarius man. He may be distancing himself from you unintentionally, and, in the process, ignoring you. After leaving him alone for a couple of days, extend the olive branch and reach out to him. You don’t need to make him jealous, just remind him what he’s missing. Let him remember how fun it is to talk to you.
- Instead of talking about his distance, start a new conversation. Aquarians love a friendly debate, especially one that will have them formulating the most unpopular opinion to look smart.
- Bring up a political, economic, or mundane problem like where someone should store peanut butter. Aquarians are attracted to intelligence and those who can combat them, so remind him you are that person.
Advertisement

Method 4

Method 4 of 11:
Avoid putting pressure on him.

1
Commitment may be the reason he’s distancing. Aquarians fear the expectations of others, and what is more expected in a relationship than commitment? He may be resenting you because he’s frightened that he’ll lose his independence. Reassure him that this is not that case by hanging out with other people and participating in activities without him. Remind him that being together doesn’t necessarily mean you’re joined at the hip.

Method 5

Method 5 of 11:
Accept your differences.

1
Trying to get him to see another side can be difficult. Aquarius men have a unique perspective on life and are set in their own ways. He is constantly thinking one step ahead, formulating opinions, and trying to rationalize the complexities of the universe. He may not be willing to admit that some of his ideas and opinions can be wrong.
- An Aquarius’ detached nature could be playing a part in why they are distancing themselves. Accept that there are some things you both will never see eye-to-eye on. It’s okay to have different perspectives as long as you both equally care for each other.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
Advertisement

Method 6

Method 6 of 11:
Focus on your own goals.

1
Take time for yourself while he’s distant. There’s no telling how long he will be distant. The unpredictability of an Aquarius can seem daunting, but don’t worry! He may be distancing himself, but you still have you. Spend some time working on yourself and your own goals rather than on your relationship.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Write down your daily, weekly, monthly, and/or yearly goals. What do you want in life? Think of goals that don’t involve him and only center around your happiness.

Method 7

Method 7 of 11:
Revisit favorite hobbies.

1
Do something you love while he’s silent. Rekindle an old passion and keep your mind busy by diving into a favorite hobby. Let him work through his thoughts while you do something you love! Aquarians value partners that are independently motivated and have their own passions.^{[5]
X
Research source} Start a project that you’ll be excited to share with him.
- If you don’t have a favorite hobby, try something new! Pick up an embroidery kit at a local craft store, try watercoloring, bake a cake, or enroll in a dance class. The possibilities are endless!
Advertisement

Method 8

Method 8 of 11:
Reach out to friends.

1
Deal with his absence by chatting with friends. Of course you love hanging around your Aquarius man, but he may value some time apart to better appreciate the relationship. If you do everything together, how will you have new, exciting stories to tell him? So, go for coffee with a colleague, or catch a movie with a childhood best friend.
- Prove to yourself that you don’t need him to thrive. He is not the only person in your life. If you don’t have a friend to call, reach out to the barista you see every morning or a neighbor. You never know where you’ll find a friend!

Method 9

Method 9 of 11:
Try a new activity.

1
Take your mind off him and try something new. Aquarians are drawn to those with niche hobbies and interests.While he’s sorting through his existential thoughts, enrich your mind with something new. Write a list of things you’ve always wanted to try or explore, and take this time to follow your dreams.
- If you don’t know where to start, search what opportunities are around you locally! Maybe there’s a rock climbing place, pottery studio, or zip-lining park nearby.
Advertisement

Method 10

Method 10 of 11:
Stay positive.

1
The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Your Aquarius man is most likely distancing himself because he is overwhelmed by his complex emotions and contradicting characteristics. Don’t be hard on yourself. Keep your chin up! While he’s taking time to sort things through, focus on your well-being. This may not be the end, and, if it is, know that you are worthy of anyone’s love.

Method 11

Method 11 of 11:
Ask for help if you need it.

1
Opening up to someone outside of your circle can benefit you both. Everyone needs a little help once and a while. There is no shame in reaching out to a professional for guidance. Your mental health is just as important as his, so remember to take care of yourself even if he’s the one shutting you out. Your emotions and feelings are valid. Contact your doctor, insurance company, or do an online search to find a counseling service that will work best for you.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Counselors are great not only because they’re trained to help you in every way possible, but because they have an unbiased view outside of the situation. An outsider’s perspective can be very helpful when dealing with a distant Aquarius man.
Advertisement