How to Tell if a Female Friend Wants a Romantic Relationship

Last Updated: March 12, 2021 References Approved

Friends can sometimes develop romantic feelings for each other, but it can be difficult to tell if a female friend wants to take the friendship to the next level. Luckily, there are a few signs you can look for that might indicate your friend is interested in a romantic relationship, like paying attention to her body language and your conversations with each other.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:
Noticing What She Says

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Make note of how she talks about her future plans. When she’s talking about what she wants to do with her life, career, or general future, pay attention to whether or not she includes you in her plans. If she does, there’s a good chance that she’s interested in a relationship and sees you being a part of her life for a long time.^{[1]
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- If she doesn’t, though, don’t worry. She might be nervous about including you in her plans without talking to you about it first.
2
Think about whether or not she asks you deep questions. Women are pretty good at getting to know others because they know exactly what questions to ask. Make note of when she asks about your career plans, your ideal future family, or your hopes and dreams. These are all signs that she wants to see if your future and hers are compatible.^{[2]
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- Listen for questions like “How many kids do you want?” or “Do you believe in marriage?”
- She might also ask questions about your relationship with your family, your previous romantic relationships, or your general beliefs.
3
Ask yourself if you think that she has opened up to you. Along with asking questions comes answering questions! If she’s told you about her beliefs, past relationships, and family, she’s probably very comfortable with you and sees you as someone she can trust. While this is normal for friends, it can be a sign that she’s open to something deeper.^{[3]
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- This is especially true if she’s shared stories that are very meaningful, or even painful, for her to discuss. If she feels comfortable talking about topics that make her emotional around you, it’s a good sign that she sees you as someone who is emotionally supportive.
4
Recognize if she gets tongue-tied or nervous around you. Sometimes, you can tell if she likes you by paying attention to how she talks, in addition to what she’s saying. If she trips over her words when she’s looking at you, or seems flustered, it’s a pretty good sign that she likes you.^{[4]
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- If she’s telling an embarrassing story or a funny joke, she might blush when she looks at you, or forget what she was saying.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:
Paying Attention to Romantic Actions

1
Notice if she touches your hands, hair, or arms. Lingering touch is a huge sign that a woman is interested in you! If she reaches out to touch your hand while you’re talking, offers to fix your hair, or brushes her hand against your arm, she might think of you in a romantic way.^{[5]
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- If you aren’t comfortable with being touched, simply let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and you’d like her to stop. If she’s a good friend, she’ll respect your boundaries.
- Some women are naturally flirty. Try to pay attention to her around other people to see if she touches them in the same way. If she does, she might just be a flirtatious person!
2
Pay attention to whether or not she wants to take care of you. When women are interested in someone, they normally go out of their way to be helpful toward them. If she offers to help you with things around the house, gets you a small gift, or wants to get dinner for you, she probably views you as a romantic interest.^{[6]
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- If you’re also interested in her, be sure to thank her and try to reciprocate her kindness by being helpful, as well!
- If you aren’t interested in her romantically, try to politely decline her offers, but thank her for her kindness. You could say something like, “That’s okay, I think I have it under control, but thanks so much for offering!”
3
Make note of whether she’s laughing and smiling while she’s around you. Although she might laugh and smile around her other friends, pay attention to whether she’s consistently happy and giggling around you. She might be trying to flirt with you, or show you that you make her happy!^{[7]
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Expert Source

Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.}
- She might even laugh at jokes that you make that aren’t particularly funny. If she’s laughing when no one else is, it’s a good sign that she likes you.
4
Consider whether she notices and remembers things that you say to her. While some women are really great listeners, if she’s interested in you, she’ll go the extra mile and make note of the things that are important to you. When you’re hanging out, she might say something like “Oh, that green shirt is so nice, and it’s your favorite color!”^{[9]
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- If she’s really serious about you, she might even get you a small gift that has to do with one of your interests or a story that you told her.
5
Wait for her to introduce you to her family. For a woman, introducing a love interest to her family is a huge step because it signifies that she’s serious about her relationship with you. If she asks for you to meet her family, or invites you to events where her family might be, she’s trying to tell you that she thinks you’re special enough to meet them!^{[10]
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- If you aren’t ready for a serious relationship, politely decline the invitation. Say something like “I don’t think I’m ready to meet your family right now, but I’m really glad that you thought to invite me.”
- She might ask you to come to dinner with them, or come to a family event if you already know her parents because you’ve been friends for a while. This is also a pretty good sign that she’s interested in a relationship with you, since you’ll be her “date” for the event or dinner.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:
Identifying Your Feelings

1
Decide whether you want the same things from your relationship. One of the most important steps of moving from a friendship to a relationship is deciding if you want the same things. Ask yourself if you’re ready to be in a committed relationship, and if you’re really interested in her as a person. Try not to put yourself in a situation where you might change your mind in the future.^{[11]
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- It’s also really important to know what kind of relationship you want if you’re planning to ask her out. If you want to go out casually before getting serious, be sure to make that clear by saying something like, “Would you like to go on a few dates to see where things go?”
- If you’re just interested in a physical relationship, be honest with her. Some girls will be okay with a “friends with benefits” situation, while others definitely won’t.
2
Ask her on a date if you do want to get into a relationship. If she’s expressing her interest in you in a few different ways, it’s pretty safe to ask her on a date. Remember to be respectful and honest about your intentions, and tell her how you feel about her.^{[12]
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- You can say something like, “I think you’re really sweet and kind, and I’ve be interested in you for a while. Would you want to go out on a date?”
- If she says yes, get ready to make a great impression on your date.
- If she says no, try not to get upset or discouraged. You can still be friends, and you can try asking out someone else who you’re interested in sometime in the future.
3
Be honest with her if you don’t want to be in a relationship. In some cases, you might not be attracted to or interested in dating your friend. If you notice that she might be interested in you, the best thing you can do is tell her that you just view her as a friend.^{[13]
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- To do this in the nicest way possible, you might say something like, “I noticed that you’ve been acting differently toward me lately, and I wanted to address it now. I really value our friendship and am not really interested in having a relationship beyond friendship. I hope you understand where I’m coming from.”
- She might be upset for a little bit, but as long as you’re nice about it and make it clear that you still want her in your life, things will likely be okay.

Relationship Help

Verbal Signs a Female Friend Wants a Relationship

Physical Signs a Female Friend Wants a Relationship

Asking a Female Friend Out

Community Q&A
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Question

How do I turn our friendship into a romantic relationship?

Christina Jay, NLP
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.

Christina Jay, NLP

Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

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That can be tricky. You don’t want the friendship to end if the relationship does not work. Honesty is the best policy and it’s best to discuss with your friend what your thoughts are.
Question

What does it mean if a girl leans against you?

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Leaning or other types of close physical contact (like touching your arm or letting her hand brush against yours) are usually signs of affection. However, some people enjoy cuddling up to their friends, so don’t assume it means she likes you romantically—it’s best to ask how she’s feeling in order to be sure!
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How can you tell if a woman likes you by looking at her eyes?

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You might notice her glancing at you a lot or making lingering eye contact when she speaks to you. Look for a smile that reaches her eyes when she’s talking to you (i.e., you should notice smile lines, lowered brows, and twinkling eyes), since this means the smile is genuine and not forced. You might also notice that her pupils dilate when she’s looking at you.
Question

How do you know if a girl loves you secretly?

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She might talk to you often, flirt with you, find reasons to be near you or to touch you, visibly light up whenever she sees you, or act upset when you show romantic interest in other people. However, the only way to know for sure is to ask her. If you don’t feel comfortable asking her directly, try asking her friends—she might have mentioned her feelings to one of them.
Question

Is someone my friend if they help me when I'm stressed, but don't get anything for me on my birthday?

Community Answer

Yes, they are. Presents aren't the only thing that defines a friendship. If they're there for you, they're your friend.
Question

How do I know if a female friend is lying to me when she says she does not like me in a romantic kind of way?

Community Answer

She probably isn't lying. If she really did want to be with you even if she said no, she would do something so you would know. If she says no, she probably means no.
Question

She flirts with me often and gives me all the possible hints said above. However, she tells everyone that we are just friends and tells me how great a friend I am. What does this mean?

Community Answer

It probably means she is interested in you but she doesn't want to give away her feelings, or she's just not ready to be in a relationship right now for whatever reason. You could try asking her how she really feels sometime when the two of you are alone.
Question

If a girl shows excessive interest in helping me, even if I haven't asked for help, does that mean she's interested in me?

Community Answer

Not always. It depends on the girl. She might just want to be your friend.
Question

My female friend likes me but tells me to talk to other girls. When I do, she gets upset. What does this mean?

Community Answer

She has a crush on you, and on the inside, she does not want you to have crushes on other girls. She gets hurt because she wants to be the only girl in your life, but doesn't want to let you know because she likely is afraid you will reject her. Talk to her about your feelings and hers, and if you want to be in a romantic relationship with her, let her know. If you prefer to remain friends, tell her so gently and honestly.
Question

My friend and I had a fight. Before that, she told me she liked me. No she tells everyone she hates me, but I catch her staring at me during class, and touching her lips a lot. Does she like me still?

Community Answer

Yes, most likely she does.