How to Make a Guy Less Nervous when You Talk to Him

Last Updated: May 25, 2021 References

It’s common for guys to get nervous while talking to you. You can ease his nerves by sharing things about yourself, asking him questions, talking about subjects that he is interested in, and avoiding uncomfortable topics. Body language is also important. Smiling, making eye contact, and not crossing your arms or legs will help a guy feel less nervous.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:
Making Him Feel More Comfortable

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Share something about yourself. You can create a valuable connection with a guy by sharing something personal with him. In many cases, this can help him feel less nervous and more connected to you. For example, you can talk about your love of running or the joy you find in novels.^{[1]
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Ask him questions. Sometimes guys get nervous because they don’t know what to say. You can make a guy feel more comfortable around you by taking the lead. Ask him questions about himself. For example, you can ask him what his favorite book is or what he loves to do when he’s not studying or working.^{[2]
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Avoid uncomfortable subjects. Sometimes talking about uncomfortable topics can stall the conversation or make others nervous. To keep the conversation flowing smoothly, avoid uncomfortable subjects like illness, death, or other people’s business. Instead, keep the conversation upbeat and positive.^{[3]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:
Keeping the Conversation Flowing

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Discuss things you’re both passionate about. If you want to keep the conversation going, try talking about subjects you have a mutual passion for. This will allow you both to contribute to the conversation, and find common ground with each other.
2
Don’t ask yes or no questions. Try asking him questions that require more than a yes or no answer. This will help keep the conversation from stalling. For example, don’t ask, “Do you prefer cars or trucks?” Instead, try asking, “What is your dream vehicle?”^{[4]
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Talk about subjects you know he is interested in. If you know that the guy you’re talking with loves baseball, ask him about last night’s game. You can also talk about a book you’ve seen him reading, or the latest blockbuster film. Use your knowledge about him to figure out topics that might interest him.^{[5]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:
Using Body Language to Calm His Nerves

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Smile. Smiling is one of the easiest ways to get a guy feeling comfortable around you. It signifies you are happy, and can inspire a guy to smile as well. This can create a connection between the two of you, making him feel less nervous.^{[6]
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Make eye contact. Looking a guy in the eyes while you are talking can help him feel more at ease. Eye contact demonstrates you are comfortable around him and dedicated to the conversation. You don’t need to make continual eye contact, but at least make sure you look him in the eyes several times during your conversation.^{[7]
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Touch him. Touch can convey warmth, friendship, and inclusion. It can also help a guy feel a little less nervous during your conversation. If you feel comfortable doing so, lightly touch his hand or shoulder while you are talking. This will help him feel more connected to you and inspire openness.
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Use open body language. How you comport your body sends certain signals to others. Stand or sit with your arms open and by your sides, instead of crossing them. You should also avoid crossing your legs, which can send a closed-off vibe.^{[8]
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Community Q&A

Question

How do I get over my nerves when talking to my crush?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you're feeling a little nervous too, saying something like "ah, give me a couple of minutes because I'm a bit of a train wreck right now" can actually bring you closer to the other person, since you two are sharing vulnerability.
Question

How do you talk to a random guy?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you're with somebody you don't know well, you can ask a fun icebreaker like "what's something people would be surprised to learn about you?" or "what were you like in high school?” In general, ask him the sort of questions you'd like to be asked yourself.