How to Get a Shy Guy to Admit He Likes You

Written by John Keegan | Edited by Hannah Madden

Last Updated: December 15, 2021 References

When you’re talking to a shy guy, it might be a little hard to tell if he likes you or not. Getting a shy guy to open up about his feelings can be tough, but thankfully, there are ways you can make him feel more comfortable and confident about sharing his feelings. To get a shy guy to acknowledge his crush, you’ll need to build trust with him, listen to him, and take your time. If you give him some space to open up, he eventually will! We’ve compiled a list of ways you can speed up this process to get a shy guy to admit that he wants to take your relationship to the next level.

This article is based off an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview.

Method 1

Method 1 of 11:
Get to know him on a deeper level.

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Talk about his hopes, his dreams, and his fears. The more you two understand each other, the more willing he’ll be to say that he likes you. Try not to bombard him with questions (that tends to make shy guys uncomfortable), but ask him a few personal things every time you two hang out. Ask him things like:^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- “What’s your biggest goal in life?”
- “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
- “What’s your happiest memory from childhood?”
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Method 2

Method 2 of 11:
Build a trusting relationship.

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Be open and honest with each other. Shy guys need a lot of reassurance before they open up, so try to give him that. Do this by making plans and sticking to them, communicating well, and prioritizing him in your life.^{[2]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- If you don’t prioritize him or you constantly cancel plans, he’ll be much less likely to admit that he likes you. Show him that you like him with your actions.
- Be a good listener, too. When he talks, make eye contact with him and nod along so he knows you’re listening.

Method 3

Method 3 of 11:
Pause to let him talk.

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In conversations, take breaks to see if he has anything to say. Shy guys sometimes have trouble inserting themselves into conversations. When you two chat, try to pause every few minutes and let the silence build. If he’s been thinking about something, he’ll probably tell you then.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- Shy guys also usually like to think about what they say before they say it. Giving him a chance to talk will ensure he feels comfortable and confident.
- Don’t bombard him with questions, as that can make him feel intimidated.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 11:
Make eye contact with him.

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Prolonged eye contact sends a signal that you like him. If you want him to feel comfortable, try looking him deep in the eye and holding that contact. He’ll probably feel more comfortable, and he’ll be more likely to open up to you.^{[4]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- Don’t worry if he has trouble meeting your gaze—he’s probably just nervous.

Method 5

Method 5 of 11:
Touch him on the arm or the shoulder.

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Break the physical barrier to make him feel comfortable. When you two are together, pat his hand or touch him on the arm when you laugh at his joke. This is a way to let him know that you like him, which could make him feel more comfortable about opening up to you.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- You could also give him a hug or kiss him on the cheek.
- If he reciprocates your physical touches, it’s a good sign that he’s into you.
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Method 6

Method 6 of 11:
Give him some space.

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If he misses you, he’s more likely to open up to you. You don’t have to hang out 24/7; see him a few times a week, but let him have some alone time, too. Shy guys often need some time on their own to rest and recharge, so it’s a win-win.^{[6]
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New York State Government
Official website for the State of New York
Go to source}
- Try to let him initiate some of your plans, too. If you’re the one texting and calling first 100% of the time, it might be a red flag.

Method 7

Method 7 of 11:
Ask him what his first impression of you was.

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This is a nice way to segue into a talk about your feelings. If you two are chatting together, try asking a fun, flirty question about the time you two first met. Then, you can follow up with what he thinks of you now (and whether or not he likes you).^{[7]
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Research source}
- For instance, you might say something like, “What was your first impression of me?” Then, you can follow up with “Wow! So what do you think of me now?”
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Method 8

Method 8 of 11:
Ask him if he’s looking for a relationship.

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Get a read on how he feels about dating to see if he’s into you. If he wholeheartedly wants to couple up with someone, it’s a good sign that he might like you. If he’s unwilling to answer or he says he’s not looking for a relationship, he might be trying to let you down easily. Try something like:^{[8]
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Research source}
- “Are you interested in being in a relationship right now?”
- “Do you want to stay single for a while, or do you think you’re ready to date someone again?”

Method 9

Method 9 of 11:
Open up about your feelings first.

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He’ll be more likely to share if he knows you like him. Let him know that you have feelings for him so he feels comfortable opening up, too. You don’t have to make it a big deal, but you can let him know that you really like him and care about him, and you want to see where this goes.^{[9]
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Research source}
- For instance, you might say, “Hey, I just want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed our time together. I want to keep getting to know you because I like you a lot.”
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Method 10

Method 10 of 11:
Text him instead of talking in person.

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Shy people are often more comfortable opening up over text. Instead of asking him questions while you two are together, try texting him to get a read on his feelings. He might be more willing to talk about the fact that he likes you if he can just send you a text.^{[10]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- Although it might feel less special than an in-person talk, feel free to tell him you like him over text. It will take the pressure off both of you so you can talk freely.

Method 11

Method 11 of 11:
Make the first move.

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Lean in and give him a kiss if you want to. Shy guys are often too nervous to make the first move themselves. If you’re really feeling it, you can initiate contact and move your relationship to the next level. He’ll probably feel more comfortable opening up to you if you’ve established that you like him.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.}
- He might be a little stiff at first, but that’s probably because he’s nervous. Give him a few seconds to get used to your kiss before you give up.
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