How to End a Rebound Relationship

After you go through a particularly tough breakup, it’s natural to seek out someone else to fill that void. However, rebounding too quickly into dating someone else can lead to heartbreak later on, especially if you aren’t over your ex yet. If you’ve realized that you need to end your rebound relationship, read through these tips to let your new partner down as gently as possible.

Method 1
Method 1 of 9:
Be honest with yourself.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 1
    0
    9
    1
    If you’re not over your ex, you’re probably not ready for a relationship. Rebounds happen, but they aren’t super fair to your new partner. Try to be honest with yourself and recognize that staying single might be the best thing for you right now.[1]
    • You might know that you aren’t over your ex if you can’t stop thinking about them or you’re comparing your new partner to your old relationship.
    • If you aren’t 100% sure about what you need to do yet, consider talking it through with a friend first.
    Advertisement

Method 2
Method 2 of 9:
End the relationship as soon as possible.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 2
    0
    6
    1
    Don’t drag it out for the sake of your new partner. As soon as you realize you want to break up with them, sit them down for a talk. If they know that you held on out of pity for them, they’ll probably feel even worse.[2]
    • Breaking up can be scary, and it’s never fun for anyone. However, out of respect for your partner, you should try to do it quickly.

Method 3
Method 3 of 9:
Break up in person.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 3
    0
    6
    1
    Avoid breaking the news over text or a phone call. Head to your partner’s house and ask to talk with them privately. That way, you can leave after you two have talked it out to give your ex some space.[3]
    • It’s better to break up in a private place than a public one. You and your soon-to-be-ex will probably both express some emotions, and that can be tough to do when you’re surrounded by other people.
    • You can start the conversation by saying, “Hey, could we sit down and talk for a minute?”
    Advertisement

Method 4
Method 4 of 9:
Tell the truth, but be kind.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 4
    1
    3
    1
    Let them know that you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Assure your partner that it’s not anything that they did, but you just aren’t ready to date after your breakup. Try not to compare them to your ex or make them feel like the relationship didn’t mean anything.[4]
    • You might say something like, “I jumped back into dating too quickly, and I realized I’m not ready for it yet. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own feelings.”
    • Alternatively, you could say, “I really enjoy your company, I just don’t see this relationship going anywhere. I don't want to waste your time.”

Method 5
Method 5 of 9:
Take responsibility.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 5
    0
    8
    1
    Let them know that it’s your fault the relationship is ending. You don’t have to beat yourself up about it, but you can tell your ex-partner that you’re the reason you two won’t work out. That way, they might feel slightly better about themselves.[5]
    • For instance, you might say, “It’s my fault for trying to be in a relationship so quickly after my last one. I should have given myself more time.”
    • If you want to, you could even apologize to soften the blow a bit. Try something like, “I’m sorry if I led you on at all, because that wasn’t my intention.”
    Advertisement

Method 6
Method 6 of 9:
Answer any questions they have.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 6
    0
    8
    1
    They might want to know more about why this is happening.[6] Try to answer their questions as best you can, and reassure them that the breakup isn’t their fault. They might get a little teary or upset, but you should try to stick around just in case they need anything else from you.[7]
    • They might ask about your old relationship, if you’re going to date again soon, or if you two can get back together one day. You might want to have some answers prepared ahead of time!

Method 7
Method 7 of 9:
Don’t tell them you’re going back to your ex.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 7
    0
    6
    1
    It will probably hurt their feelings. If you are planning to pursue your ex again, keep it private and don’t let the person you’re breaking up with know. They could feel like you were just using them as a placeholder until you got back with the person you actually wanted to be with.[8]
    • If they ask you directly about going back to your ex, say something like, “That’s not the reason I’m breaking up with you.”
    Advertisement

Method 8
Method 8 of 9:
Use clear language so there’s no confusion.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 8
    0
    8
    1
    Vague language can give your ex false hope.[9] Don’t leave the door open for a potential romance in the future. Tell them that you’re ending the relationship to work on yourself, and that they should try to move on and find someone new.[10]
    • They might try to hang onto hope that you'll reconnect after you’ve recovered from your old breakup. If you know that's not in the cards, be sure to say that as plainly as possible.

Method 9
Method 9 of 9:
Cut off contact after the breakup.

  1. Image titled End a Rebound Relationship Step 9
    0
    10
    1
    A clean break helps the other person heal and move on faster. You two can stay friendly and say hello if you bump into each other, but don’t reach out or initiate any contact with them. Let them move on from you on their own terms, and don’t stay in their life to remind them of your breakup.[11]
    • If they want to be friends with you, you can hang out with them again after some time. Just make sure you’re clear about keeping things platonic, and don’t lead them on.
    Advertisement

Community Q&A

  • Question
    How do you break up in a healthy way?
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University.
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Expert Answer
    Approach the conversation with awareness, intention, and compassionate. Make sure you have a clear understanding about what to share and what not to share during the conversation before speaking with them. There's no need to go over the whole situation or relationship, especially what went wrong or who's at fault.
  • Question
    How do you be strong and not go back to an ex?
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University.
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Expert Answer
    Honor the reasons why you chose to end the relationship in the first place—by doing this, you're building self-trust. If need be, have a conversation with your ex about creating some ground rules to support respecting each other's space.
  • Question
    What does ghosting do to a person?
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University.
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Expert Answer
    Ghosting denies a person of closure, which is an important part of feeling complete and ready to move on. Even if you don't feel like continuing a relationship, it's important the do the right thing and let the other person know.
  • Question
    How do you break up without hurting?
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University.
    Kate Dreyfus
    Kate Dreyfus
    Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
    Expert Answer
    Do your best to approach the breakup with integrity. Maintaining integrity, healthy boundaries, and awareness allow you to stay empowered. It also prioritizes respect and helps you rise above any negativity within the breakup conversation and experience.
  • Question
    Why am I struggling to move on from my ex?
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Maybe you haven't moved on because you haven't finished grieving your loss. Maybe he's made you so mad that you didn't want to mourn and grieve. If that is the case, separate the two, continue to be mad if you need, but you might need to think back to the beginning when you loved him, at least how he was back then, and mourn how that is over. Contrasting his love-worthy qualities with his disgusting qualities should actually help you get closure. Recognizing what it is you loved so much also informs you on what you will want from your next partner.

You Might Also Like

Get Your Ex Back
How to
Get Your Ex Back
Make a Guy Feel Sorry
How to
Make a Guy Feel Sorry
Talk Your Boyfriend out of Breaking up With You
How to
Talk Your Boyfriend out of Breaking up With You
Win Your Girlfriend Back After a Break Up
How to
Win Your Girlfriend Back After a Break Up
Break Up With Someone Who Is Threatening Suicide
How to
Break Up With Someone Who Is Threatening Suicide
Break Up with Someone You Love
How to
Break Up with Someone You Love
Make Your Boyfriend Break up With You
How to
Make Your Boyfriend Break up With You
Break Up a Couple
How to
Break Up a Couple
Get Over a Break Up
How to
Get Over a Break Up
Break Up with Someone Who Just Doesn't Get It
How to
Break Up with Someone Who Just Doesn't Get It
Know when Your Girlfriend Wants to Break UpHow to Know when Your Girlfriend Wants to Break Up
Break Up with Your BoyfriendHow to Break Up with Your Boyfriend - wikiHow
Advertisement

References

  1. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190924-the-benefits-of-rebounding-after-a-break-up
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201805/fourteen-ways-break-better
  3. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
  4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201805/fourteen-ways-break-better
  6. ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer. Expert Interview. 10 September 2021.
  7. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/one-after-the-other-how-long-do-rebound-relationships-last/
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-decisions/201406/the-truth-about-rebound-relationships
  9. ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer. Expert Interview. 10 September 2021.
  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201805/fourteen-ways-break-better
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201805/fourteen-ways-break-better

About This Article

Kate Dreyfus
Co-authored by:
Kate Dreyfus
Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer
This article was co-authored by Kate Dreyfus and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University. This article has been viewed 4,454 times.
1 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: December 1, 2021
Views: 4,454
Categories: Breaking Up
Advertisement