How to Choose a Dance Partner

Last Updated: May 25, 2021 References

Dancing with a partner can be an exciting way to spend a weekend, a rewarding learning experience, a way of improving your skills as a serious dancer, or even just a fun way of meeting new people.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Lorena Bravo, MA
Professional Dance Instructor & Competitor
Expert Interview. 19 May 2020.} Whatever makes you love dancing, this guide will help you find someone to move your feet with.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:
Finding the Ideal Match in a Dance Partner

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Assess their personality. While it can be simple to learn techniques, the personality of your partner probably won’t change.Remember that you will be spending a lot of time together so pick someone you could realistically be friends with.^{[2]
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Pick a dance partner who makes you feel confident and comfortable. Your dance partner should always be supportive and make you feel at ease. Avoid partners who are overly critical, or even one who simply ‘doesn’t mesh’ with you in a way that makes you completely comfortable.^{[3]
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3
Find a complementary physique. Depending on the type of dance, your own body, and your personal preferences, you may want to think about what heights or weights may be comfortable to dance with. Think about whether you will need to be able to lift your partner or be lifted by them, as well as how you will fit together on the dance floor. Keep an ideal physique in mind when making your decision about potential partners. ^{[4]
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Dance with many partners. Sometimes it can be hard to know what makes a perfect dance partner. Dancing with many different people can help you discover your personal preferences and help you know what to look for and avoid in future partners.
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Wait for the right moment to ask. Asking a classmate to dance while they’re practicing a full split probably won’t end in your favor. Wait for a quiet moment such as after dance class, over coffee, or even in a text before proposing dance partnership.^{[5]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:
Working out the Details

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Define concrete personal or professional dance goals. Consider how committed you are to dancing, how often you want to practice, and what your ultimate goals are. This could include a number of goals such as mastering a style of dance, winning a competition, nailing a certain move, or even just feeling comfortable on a dance floor. You need to make sure this dedication and goal are both matched by any potential dance partner.^{[6]
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Pick a partner close to your level. It is always a good idea to dance with someone close to your level. You can pick someone slightly better than you if you are trying to learn, someone at your level to practice, or any level to simply go out and have fun.^{[7]
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Outline a time-frame and schedule. When you ask someone to dance, make sure they are clear when and how often you are looking to dance. Let them know if you want something casual or a dedicated partner. Then, try to find time that both of you have available to practice.
- Even a dance partner who seems perfect otherwise may not work out if your schedules are too conflicting.
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Try out the partnership. Even if you are looking for a serious dance partner, a significant commitment might seem overwhelming. Give yourself and your partner time to warm up to each other before making any serious commitments. With a casual partner this will be a good natural step towards making the arrangement an integral part of your routine.
- If someone doesn’t want to dance with you or chooses to end the partnership, do not take it personally. Remember that there are plenty of other dancers looking for someone to waltz with.
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Consider their needs. Always be considerate and willing to compromise to meet the needs of your partner. Being flexible and understanding of what your partner wants can put them at ease and make them more likely to accept.

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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:
Being the Dance Partner You’d Want to Have

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Maintain good hygiene. Dancing is a particularly intimate art form. Since you’ll most likely be in close quarters for long periods of time with your partner, be courteous and make sure are clean and wearing deodorant beforehand.
- Make sure you do not eat any strong-smelling foods before dancing and avoid overpowering perfume or cologne.
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Be polite. Just as you would not want a partner who is very critical or rude, make sure that you are reciprocating kindness with your partner. Try to make them feel confident and comfortable.
- Only provide criticism if it will be constructive, nothing can make someone lose confidence faster than unsolicited teaching or criticism.
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Be dependable. A dance partner might get frustrated if you are often cancelling or changing plans. Try to make a schedule and stick to it to avoid causing undue stress to your partner.
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Strive to be a better dancer. Even if you are not serious about dancing, being good at it and constantly learning can make you attractive to potential partners. Also, the better you are at dancing, the more options will become available to you for partners in the future. ^{[8]
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Community Q&A
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How can I be a better dance partner?

Lorena Bravo, MA
Professional Dance Instructor & Competitor
Lorena Bravo is a Dance Instructor and the Founder of Bravo Dancing Ballroom Academy based in Los Angeles, California. Specializing in ballroom dancing for both American Smooth and International Standard Divisions, Lorena has over 20 years of professional dance experience. Along with running Bravo Dancing, Lorena has served on the faculty of the American Musical and Dramatic Academy and is currently on the faculty at Chapman University’s dance department. She is also the head ballroom coach for the University of Southern California (USC) Ballroom and Latin Dance Team. Lorena holds a BA in Psychology and an MA in Bilingual Education from USC and is certified in Associate American Smooth by the Imperial Society of Teachers of Dancing.

Lorena Bravo, MA

Professional Dance Instructor & Competitor

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Always adapt to your partner and respond to how they are dancing. Try to think of it as having a nonverbal conversation. Remember that you are both there to have a good time, not to judge and critique each other.