How (and When) to Break a Feed to Sleep Habit

Co-authored by Lisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA) and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

If your baby can’t fall asleep without breastfeeding or having a bottle, they’ve probably gotten into a feed to sleep habit. While this routine isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can be a little taxing on you, especially if your baby takes their time while eating. If you want to break your baby’s habit, there are a few ways you can slowly wean them off of it while keeping them happy. Eventually, your baby will be able to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep for longer stretches of time (even if it doesn’t seem like it right now!).

Question 1

Question 1 of 6:
How do I get my baby to sleep without feeding?

1
Establish a bedtime routine. If your child is used to eating right before they fall asleep, getting them used to a different routine can help. Try giving them a bath, changing them into pajamas, dimming the lights, and giving them a goodnight kiss or cuddle to help them fall asleep.^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source}You could also try rocking your baby or walking around with them to help soothe them to sleep.^{[2]
X
Research source}
2
Shorten the length of the night feed over time. If your baby normally feeds for 15 minutes before sleeping, let them feed for 13 minutes. Keep cutting it by 2 to 3 minutes every night until eventually, they don’t need to feed to fall asleep anymore.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If your baby normally only feeds for 5 minutes or less, try simply skipping it. Since their usual feeding time is so short, they might not need the gradual weaning period.
- If your baby often wakes up in the night and wants to feed, try offering them a sippy cup of water instead of a bottle or your breast.^{[4]
  X
  Research source}

Question 2

Question 2 of 6:
When should you stop feeding to sleep?

1
When your baby is between 6 to 12 months old. All children are different, but you can slowly start weaning your child off bedtime feeds after they turn 6 months old. At this point, your baby can start to self-soothe instead of getting comfort from you. ^{[5]
X
Research source}
- If you don’t mind feeding them before they go to sleep, you don’t have to worry about breaking the habit right away.

Question 3

Question 3 of 6:
How can you tell if your baby is using you as a pacifier?

1
If your baby isn’t swallowing milk, they might be using you as a pacifier. You can tell they’re not really nursing if they don’t latch tightly onto your nipple or they let the milk drip out of their mouth. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—babies will use nursing as a comfort activity to calm themselves down. If you want to stop comfort nursing, put restrictions on how often your baby can breastfeed without actually eating anything throughout the day.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- In the end, it all comes down to your personal preference. Giving babies comfort is never a bad thing, but it can be overwhelming to allow them access to you at all hours of the day. Do what’s best for your baby while taking care of yourself, too.

Question 4

Question 4 of 6:
How do I teach my baby to self settle?

1
Put your baby to bed when they’re drowsy, but still awake. Hold your baby and cuddle them until they’re almost asleep, then gently lower them into their crib. Help them get used to falling asleep on their own instead of relying on you to soothe them.^{[7]
X
Research source}
2
Keep the lights dim and noises to a minimum. Emphasize the difference between night and day by turning off the lights, speaking quietly, and only feeding them in the bedroom at night. It will help your baby learn the difference between night and day and solidify that night time is for sleeping.^{[8]
X
Research source}
3
Help them settle if you hear real cries. After your baby is about 6 months old, they might be able to wake up and get themselves back to bed. If you hear little noises or a few grunts, wait for a few minutes to see if they fall back asleep. If they start crying, head to their room as soon as possible to soothe them back to sleep.^{[9]
X
Research source}

Question 5

Question 5 of 6:
How can I get my baby to sleep for longer stretches at a time?

1
Let your baby sleep in their own bed. Not only is it safer for your baby, but it will also help them wake up and fall back asleep on their own. They’ll have less anxiety about waking up without you than if you’re there all the time.^{[10]
X
Research source}
2
Check on them when they fuss, but try not to intervene. If you hear a few grunts or groans, it means your baby is waking up—however, they might not need you to help them fall back asleep. Feel free to pop your head in and double-check that they’re okay, but try not to let them see you. If you hear real cries, then you can go in and comfort them.^{[11]
X
Research source}

Question 6

Question 6 of 6:
How can you tell if a baby is hungry or if they want comfort?

1
A hunger cry is usually short and low-pitched. A comfort cry is usually sudden and loud, and it might be a little shrieky. Every baby is different, so as you spend more time together, you’ll learn your baby’s particular cries and what they mean.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- If you aren’t sure which cry it is, try to attend to your baby’s most pressing need first. Change their diaper, warm them up, and give them food. If they’re still crying, they might just need to be rocked and held by you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you get a newborn to sleep through the night?

Lisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA)
Certified Doula & Childbirth Educator
Lisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA) is a certified childbirth educator, birth doula, and founder of Birth Matters NYC. With over 10 years of experience, Lisa specializes in labor support, postpartum wellness, and education in the first few months of parenthood. Lisa holds a BA in journalism from Baylor University. She is a certified childbirth educator with both the Childbirth Education Association of Metropolitan New York (CEA/MNY) and Lamaze International. Lisa served on CEA/MNY’s board for 5 years and was named CEA’s Ellen Chuse Childbirth Educator of the Year in 2018. Lisa is also a DONA-certified labor support doula and a professional member of Evidence Based Birth.

Lisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA)

Certified Doula & Childbirth Educator

Expert Answer

I don't recommend any type of sleep training for newborns until they're at least 3-6 months old. Before that point, they have a shorter sleep cycle and they're physically unable to sleep for long stretches of time.