How to Be a Good Boyfriend in College (12 Steps for Relationship Success)

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Whether you’ve been dating for a while now or this is your first relationship, knowing how to be a good boyfriend can be tough. In college, juggling new friendships, college classes, and a significant other might seem like a lot, but it can be done! Read through some of the ways that you can be a good boyfriend to make your partner happy and foster a healthy relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 12:
Take your partner out on dates.

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Hang out alone somewhere just the two of you. Even if you don’t have a ton of money to spend, you can still make your partner feel special. Pack a picnic and eat it in the park, go hiking on a trail nearby, or walk around the city and see the sights. Take the time to connect with each other one on one at least once a week or however often you can.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}^{[2]
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- Study dates are a good idea, too! Hang out together in the library or at a coffee shop so you can both get some work done while spending time together.
- Try to go out on more dates when your workload is less intense. For instance, you might not have a ton of time to go out during finals week, but you can see each other often during spring break or the first few weeks of the term.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 12:
Surprise your partner randomly.

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Little acts of kindness go a long way. If they’re having a bad day, bring them a coffee to cheer them up. If they passed all their finals, take them out to eat as a celebration. It will keep your relationship fresh and exciting, and they’ll think you’re the best boyfriend ever.^{[3]
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- You could also make them a playlist and send it to them or give them a full body massage.
- If you’re in a long distance relationship, send your partner a care package full of their favorite snacks and candy.

Method 3

Method 3 of 12:
Get to know your partner’s friends.

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You don’t have to be best friends, but you should be friendly. If your partner invites you to hang out with their friends, go and meet them. It will be a fun way to learn more about your partner and who they choose to spend their time with.^{[4]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}^{[5]
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- Making a good impression on your partner’s friends is pretty important in a new relationship. Try to be charming and personable so your partner’s friends like you just as much as your partner likes you.
- You should also try to introduce your partner to your friends, too. Take them with you when you go out or organize a group hang so everyone can get to know each other.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 12:
Compliment your partner.

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Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. When you see them on campus, tell them how good they look or how nice their laugh is today. You can also compliment them on how hard they work in class or how well they balance college life and their responsibilities.^{[6]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}^{[7]
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- Say something like, “Whoa, is that a new shirt? You look amazing!” Or, “Your sense of humor is so good, you always know how to make me laugh.”
- If your partner looks tired or worn-down, try not to comment on it. They’re probably aware of how they look, and being reminded won’t make them feel much better.

Method 5

Method 5 of 12:
Try new things.

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Keep an open mind about stuff your partner wants to do. If they want to go rollerblading and you’ve never been before, try it out! If they want to try the new restaurant down the street, make a date out of it! Stay open minded so you and your partner can have fun together.^{[8]
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- This also pertains to new things they might do during college. If there’s a new club or sport they want to try, go with them and see if you like it.
- It can be easy to get stuck in a rut, especially when you’re juggling college classes and responsibilities. Make some time for you and your partner to let loose and have some fun.
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Method 6

Method 6 of 12:
Be dependable.

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When you make plans, stick to them. If you and your partner have a date planned that night, try not to bail on them unless it’s an emergency. The more your partner can depend on you, the more you’ll build a loving, trusting relationship that’s great for the both of you.^{[9]
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- Try to keep your phone on you, too. If your partner is trying to get ahold of you and you’re MIA for days, it can be a little worrying.

Method 7

Method 7 of 12:
Listen to your partner.

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Even if they’re just telling you about your day, it’s important to listen. Get rid of distractions and focus your attention fully on your partner when they talk. It will help you two get to know each other more, and you can have deeper, more meaningful conversations that way.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}^{[11]
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- You can practice active listening by nodding your head and asking follow up questions as your partner talks. Things like, “So what happened next?” and “Tell me more” will encourage your partner to keep talking.
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Method 8

Method 8 of 12:
Communicate with each other.

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Communication is key in any romantic relationship. If you’re having issues with the relationship, sit your partner down and talk about it. Try not to make your partner guess or wonder about how you’re feeling—the more you two can talk about it, the better.^{[12]
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- Communication also plays a role in arguments. Try to keep a level head, even if you’re angry, and avoid yelling at your partner or calling them names.
- This pertains to texts and phone calls, too. Try to respond to your partner in a timely manner even when you aren’t together in person.

Method 9

Method 9 of 12:
Be honest with your partner.

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Your partner should be able to trust you 100%. Don’t hide anything from each other, and be open about what you’re doing and who you’re with. If you find yourself hiding things from your partner or keeping secrets, it could be a sign that you need to reevaluate your relationship.^{[13]
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- Of course, you can both still have privacy and alone time when you need it.
- A lot of partying happens during college, and cheating is a big worry for most people in a relationship. Try not to do anything you know your partner wouldn’t like, especially if you’re inebriated.
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Method 10

Method 10 of 12:
Support your partner.

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They may want to explore new hobbies or endeavors. If your partner decides they want to go out for a new sport or explore a new major, back them up. You can give your feedback and advice, but ultimately, you should support your partner in whatever decision they make.^{[14]
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- Having your support will make your partner feel more confident in their decisions.
- College is all about making tough life decisions: where to live, what career to choose, and what to do with your life. If you can support your partner, they’ll support you, too.

Method 11

Method 11 of 12:
Maintain your own interests.

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It’s important to have separate identities from your partner. Try to make time to hang out with your own friends, do your own hobbies, and spend time on your own. It will give you and your partner some alone time so you can come back together even stronger.^{[15]
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- Some people need more alone time than others. Try talking with your partner about how much time you need to rest and unwind, and then strike a balance that suits you both.
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Method 12

Method 12 of 12:
Take it slow on big decisions.

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Try not to rush into anything before you’re ready. As an adult in a relationship, you might be thinking about moving in together or even getting engaged. Take a step back and think on it for a little bit—if the relationship is too fresh or you don’t know each other that well yet, it might be best to put those thoughts on pause.^{[16]
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- There’s no timeline for how long you should wait before moving in with someone or getting engaged. If you really aren’t sure, try consulting your close friends or family members to get some advice on your specific situation.