How to Be a Gentleman Towards Girls

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: July 23, 2021 References

Hello boys! Ever wonder why you don't get the girls you want ... even though you look so hot? Well, read this article to find out why. One possible reason is that you don't act like a gentleman.

Steps

1
Be polite. When you meet a girl for the first time, be sure make eye contact and maintain it as you introduce yourselves to each other. Don't look at the floor or stare at her body.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
2
Do simple things like opening doors for a girl when you're out together or bringing her a small bunch of flowers on your first date.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}^{[3]
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Research source}
3
Be courteous when you are talking to a girl you like. As you're talking with each other, don't interrupt her. Ask her questions about herself. Don't get too personal, though. Keep it light at first by asking her about her career, her studies, her hobbies, little things like that. As with step 1, make sure you maintain eye contact as you're talking with her. This shows her that you're paying attention to what she is saying.
4
Do not try to overshadow a girl on any particular note. If she's talking about a particular activity that she likes to do, you can say that you like the same activity. But don't try to impress her by bragging about your skill. This is a conversation, not a competition.
5
Be quietly confident. Just because you choose to act like a gentleman doesn't mean that you're not confident in yourself. Part of being a gentleman is not acting arrogantly. It doesn't help being handsome without having confidence in yourself.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}^{[5]
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Research source}
6
Remember that every woman/girl is unique. Once you have this in mind life gets easier ... why? If you act like a gentleman and one girl still rejects you, don't let that stop you from acting like a gentleman. Another girl will appreciate your behavior and will be attracted to you. There are more girls in the world than men. Don't forget this.
7
Dress appropriately. Part of being a gentleman is being well-groomed. Make sure you wear clothes you feel comfortable in. They should fit well and make you feel confident. You should also appear and smell clean.^{[6]
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Research source}
8
Treat people in the way that you would like people to treat you! Ladies expect a gentleman to treat other people with common courtesy. So show how much of a gentleman you can be in dealing with waitstaff at a restaurant or a barista who gets a coffee order wrong.^{[7]
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Research source}

Community Q&A

Question

If a girl hates me and I keep thinking about her, how can I have her attention?

Community Answer

Apologize if you did something, and be nice to her if you get the chance. However, if her mind is already made up, it would probably just be best to let her go and leave her alone.
Question

What if I don't think I'm handsome enough and I lack self-confidence?

Emma Rebellon

Community Answer

Although you might feel like you're ugly, there's a 99% chance the people around you don't share that views of you. As someone whose levels of self-confidence and self-esteem are nonexistent, I know how you feel. It's hard to act confident when you really aren't, but if you surround yourself with true friends who genuinely like you, perhaps that confidence will see some growth. Also, try to focus on the things you DO like about yourself. Even if you're not the most handsome person in the world, perhaps you're smart, kind, a good friend, etc.
Question

Could people who are not men also be gentlemanly?

Kathy5421

Community Answer

Other genders can be chivalrous, which means polite and gentlemanly. You don't have to be a man to be a gentleman.
Question

What happens if I don't act like a gentleman?

Community Answer

Girls will not like you, and may even go out of their way to avoid you.

Warnings

Be cautious about groups that frequently reference "chivalry," "friendzoning," and "incels." These groups view women as sex objects, not people. A true gentleman respects women.

Thanks!
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Gentlemen are always polite, towards everyone. Don't get mad at a lady who isn't interested in you—just like not every lady is your type, not every man is her type. Shrug your shoulders and move on. Be friends if you want, but only if you truly value her friendship and don't expect any romantic favors in return.

Thanks!
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