How to Be More Talkative As an Introvert

Co-authored by Lauren Krasny and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Have you ever had a conversation fizzle out because you’re not sure what to say next? If you’re introverted, it may feel easier to keep things to yourself, but it’s still important to speak your mind and socialize. Luckily, there are a lot of things you can do to make any chat or discussion go smoothly. We’ll start with some easy topics to bring up to start and carry on conversations before sharing some ways to boost your confidence so it’s easier for you to open up!

Method 1

Method 1 of 12:
Prepare talking points ahead of time.

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Getting some thoughts down gives you options for how to begin. Come up with a few ideas of things that you want to talk about with the other person. When you hang out with them, bring up your talking points early on rather than waiting for later. That way, you encourage the other people to speak up and reach out to you more.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- This is especially helpful during professional meetings where you might have to compete for time.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 12:
Start with something positive.

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Opening with a happy thought sets the tone for the entire conversation. Even if you show up in a bad mood, don’t let it ruin the whole experience for you. Before you get into a conversation, brainstorm 2–3 positive things you could mention right away. Since you’re bringing up a cheery topic, you’ll appear more pleasant to talk to and people will want to continue their conversations.^{[2]
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- For example, you could say, “Hey, it’s so nice out today, isn’t it? I heard it’s supposed to stay this warm all week!”
- As another example, if you’re at a restaurant with someone, you may say, “I love the food here. I’ve never had a bad meal!”
- Being authentic is key! People can tell when you aren't genuine, and you won't show up as the best version of yourself.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Lauren Krasny
  Career Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 March 2020.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 12:
Bounce off of someone else’s thought.

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Chime in when you hear a relatable topic to give you more chances to chat. Listen intently to the other people you’re talking with so you can hear them mention things you want to discuss more. Agree with them if it’s something you like and chime in your point of view on the subject.^{[4]
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- For example, if someone brings up a movie you like, you could say, “Oh yeah, I absolutely loved that movie. What was your favorite part?”
- As another example, if the person has a good idea, you may say, “That sounds really cool. How’d you think of that?”
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Method 4

Method 4 of 12:
Ask open-ended questions.

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You’ll get the person to keep talking and have a deeper conversation. Try your best to avoid simple yes/no questions since you may get a short response. Instead, keep it open-ended so they can expand on the information. Start with some more casual questions about the person’s day or what they do for work, and choose some deeper questions as you get to know one another.^{[5]
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- For example, some good starting questions to ask the other person include things like, “What have you been working on that you’re excited about?” or “What’s been the highlight of your week?”
- If you’re just meeting the person for the first time, you may ask something like, “How has your day been going?” or, “What’s the most important thing I should know about you?”
- If you feel comfortable with the person, try asking things like, “What’s your biggest goal in life?” or, “Who do you look up to as a role model?”

Method 5

Method 5 of 12:
Bring up topics you’re passionate about.

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You’ll have more to add to the conversation if you know the topic really well. Think about your favorite things that you enjoy and work them into your conversation. Ask the person if they also like the things or explain what they are if the person doesn’t know about it. Chances are, you’ll find something that you both have in common and can bond over.^{[6]
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- For example, you could say something like, “The chai is my absolute favorite drink from this cafe. Have you tried it before?”
- As another example, you might say, “I really love playing Minecraft because I get to build things and be creative. Do you have a favorite video game?”
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Method 6

Method 6 of 12:
Mention something from recent news.

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Current events are a relatable subject a lot of people can talk about. Stay up to date about the things going around in the world or your local area so you can bring them up. You don’t have to know everything about the news story, but try to bring up enough so the person you’re talking with has something to jump to the next topic from.^{[7]
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- For example, you might say, “So I heard the reviews for the new Disney movie were pretty good. What do you think about it?”
- As another example, you could say, “Did you hear about the new game store opening in the mall this week? It seems like it’s going to be really cool.”
- Avoid politics, religion, and other hot-button issues as conversation topics because they could lead to problematic discussions.
- Check the source of the news before you tell other people about it since it could be biased.

Method 7

Method 7 of 12:
Expand on one-word answers.

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Elaborate on your response to keep the conversation moving. Just saying a simple “yes” or “no” to a question could make it seem like you’re not interested in the rest of the conversation. Instead, tell the other person about why you feel a certain way so they get to know you more and you may be able to find more conversation topics.^{[8]
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- For example, if someone asks “Did you have a good weekend?” don’t just say, “Yes.” Try something like, “Yeah, I had a couple of friends over to binge through Breaking Bad. It’s one of my favorites! Have you seen it?”
- As another example, if someone asked, “How are you doing?” instead of just saying, “Good,” try, “I’m doing pretty good! I just wrapped up a long list of chores today and I’m glad they’re finished. How about you?”
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Method 8

Method 8 of 12:
Speak up louder.

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Raise your voice while you’re talking so people can hear you. Practice speaking with a louder voice to get someone’s attention. Enunciate every word clearly so they don’t have trouble understanding what you’re trying to say. Just don’t try to interrupt or speak over the other person so you stay respectful.^{[9]
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- If you feel anxious speaking up to a group of people, that’s okay. Instead, try starting a side conversation with someone else in the group who isn’t talking much.

Method 9

Method 9 of 12:
Act confident to look approachable.

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Positive body language helps you and your conversation partner feel more comfortable. As you’re chatting with someone, maintain eye contact with them and smile. Maintain a tall, open posture so it doesn’t seem like you’re closing others off. Roll your shoulders back and keep your arms relaxed at your sides.^{[10]
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- Nonverbal communication makes up a large part of conversations, and people can tell when you aren’t interested in what they’re saying.
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Method 10

Method 10 of 12:
Talk out loud when you’re alone.

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Get used to speaking out loud so it doesn’t feel weird around others. When you’re alone and in a private, quiet place, just start saying everything that comes to your mind out loud. Try to avoid filtering what you’re saying so you can practice being open and honest. Spend at least 5 minutes every day talking to yourself so you’re more used to hearing your own voice.^{[11]
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- Once you feel comfortable doing this, try recording your voice on your phone or a computer. This makes it seem like you’re talking to another person, so it helps boost your confidence more.

Method 11

Method 11 of 12:
Spend time around extroverts.

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Extroverts are talkative and will help open up your shell too. Extroverts love spending time with other people, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone. Choose 1 or 2 people that you feel like you’ll enjoy spending time around and ask if they want to hang out together. Since they’ll want to talk to you and get to know you better, you’ll get a lot of practice chatting.^{[12]
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- You may start to feel burnt out spending all your time with extroverts. Make sure to give yourself some alone time too.
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Method 12

Method 12 of 12:
Try talking to one new person each day.

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Make some small talk to practice your conversational skills. As you go about your day, try to hold small conversations with the people that you run into. Try mentioning the weather or make an observation about something in the area. As you feel more relaxed opening up to people, try reaching out to more people each day to chat with them.^{[13]
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- For example, if you’re at a restaurant, you could say to your server, “It all looks so good. What’s your favorite thing to get on the menu?”
- As another example, you could say to someone at the grocery store, “Have you tried these chips before?

Warnings

Be wary of oversharing personal details since it could make other people feel uncomfortable and could affect your sense of privacy.^{[16]
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