How to Ask a Girl to Slow Dance

Last Updated: December 21, 2021 References

It can be pretty nerve-wracking to ask a girl to slow dance. You've got to wait for the right song, find a moment when she's not dancing with someone else, and work up the courage to approach her on the dancefloor. All of these things aren't so bad if you go for what you want with a confident attitude. If you're looking for some advice on the perfect way to ask a girl to dance, this article is here to help.

Method 1

Method 1 of 7:
Make eye contact with her.

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That way, she'll notice you before you walk over. When you see the girl you want to ask, meet her gaze directly. Avoid staring at the floor or looking away before she gets a chance to look back. You'll seem more confident and approachable, and she won't be caught off-guard when you ask her.^{[1]
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- Though making eye contact can be a little scary at first, you've got to be comfortable looking at her if you intend to dance with her for a 3-minute song!
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Method 2

Method 2 of 7:
Scope out the situation to see if she's on a date.

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It's not polite to ask if she's on a date or dancing with someone else. If the girl you want to ask is currently dancing with someone else, it's best to wait until she isn't anymore. You don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position or risk offending her or the person she's dancing with.^{[2]
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- An exception would be if she's dancing with a group of friends and a new song is just beginning.

Method 3

Method 3 of 7:
Wait for a slow song to begin.

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Get ready to walk over at the beginning so your dance isn't cut short. If you ask her in the middle of a song, you may not get to dance for very long. She may also be dancing with someone else, or hanging out with her friends. Asking her when a new song begins makes for a smoother transition. ^{[3]
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- The break in between songs also gives you an opportunity to ask when the music isn't so loud.
- Not every song works for a slow dance. When in doubt, wait for a ballad.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 7:
Approach her confidently.

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Walk towards her and give her a smile. Keep your head held high and your shoulders back as you make your way over. You'll look relaxed, friendly, and sure of yourself—all great attributes of a good dance partner! If her back is turned to you, say something to get her attention, like a simple hello.^{[4]
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Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- Avoid turning her around or touching her to get her attention. Everyone has different physical boundaries, and this may make her uncomfortable.

Method 5

Method 5 of 7:
Ask her to dance in a clear, straightforward way.

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Speak up so she'll hear what you're saying over the music. Consider slowing down your speech a little, too, so there's no question about what you're saying to her. Try to avoid fidgeting or staring at the ground as best you can.^{[6]
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Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- Keep it simple and classic: "Would you like to dance with me?"
- Try a casual, confident intro: "Hey, let's dance."^{[8]
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  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- You can also try a more formal approach: "May I have this dance?"
- Throw in a compliment if you're feeling brave: "I noticed you across the room and I knew I had to ask. Can we dance together?"
- If you're nervous, honesty can be pretty charming! Say something like: "I've been working up the courage to ask you all night."
- Don't worry about being clever or funny when you ask her. Confidence and directness are what matter most!^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
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Method 6

Method 6 of 7:
Take her hand and lead her to the dancefloor.

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Wait until she gives you a clear "Yes" or nods her head. If you're already on or near the dancefloor, take her hand and place your other hand on her upper back. This position helps you guide her to the beat of the music.^{[10]
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- You don't have to do a bunch of fancy turns or moves to impress her. Do what feels natural. Sway to the beat of the song and make conversation as you dance, if you'd like.

Method 7

Method 7 of 7:
Take rejection gracefully.

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If she says no, don't take it personally. She might say no for lots of different reasons, and most of them don't anything to do with you! Some people are more comfortable dancing with their friends and others prefer listen to the music rather than dancing. Say something like, "I totally understand. Have a great rest of your night."^{[11]
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- Pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there. That took a lot of courage.
- It's okay to be disappointed. Keep in mind that even the most attractive, confident people still get rejected sometimes.^{[12]
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