How to Ask a Girl to Dance in Middle School

Co-authored by Kira Jan

Last Updated: December 21, 2021 References

It’s normal to feel nervous or shy about talking to your crush, let alone asking her to dance. But don’t worry, asking her to dance doesn’t have to be awkward or super serious. You can be yourself and let your personality shine through whether you pick a sincere approach or whether you go for a funny line. We’ve put together a list of the best ways to ask a girl to dance with you, so that you’ll feel confident and prepared for your next middle school dance.

Method 1

Method 1 of 10:
Invite her to dance with a group of friends.

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Take the pressure off asking her alone. When you ask her to join your friends, or when you dance in a group, you avoid moments where things could feel too intense or awkward.^{[1]
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Research source} Ease your nerves and just enjoy the fun by sticking to group dancing. You can always change it up and move to partner dancing later on!
- “Hey, do you want to come dance with me and my friends?”
- “Do you and your friends want to come dance with our group?”
- “Do you all mind if my friends and I dance here with your group?”
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Method 2

Method 2 of 10:
Send a friend to ask the girl if she’ll say yes.

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Ask a friend to go find out if your crush is interested. Take some of the stress out of asking your crush to dance by knowing her response ahead of time. As a bonus, the girl gets extra time to decide if she wants to dance with you, rather than feeling pressured to say yes or no right on the spot.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Your friend can just ask: “If Riley asked you to dance, what would you say?”

Method 3

Method 3 of 10:
Try a silly joke as a way to ask her.

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Keep your request cute and funny. Middle school dances are fun, and they can feel awkward, too, especially if it’s your first time letting your crush know you’re interested. Cheesy jokes can help you both relax and break the ice.^{[3]
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- “I may not be a photographer, but I can totally picture us dancing together.”^{[4]
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- “If you could rearrange the alphabet, would you put U and I together so we could dance?”
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Method 4

Method 4 of 10:
Use a food pun to ask her creatively.

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Talk with your crush at the snack area. Especially if you’re shy, it might feel more comfortable to hover around the snack table rather than jumping right onto the dance floor. That’s totally okay! Use the snacks as funny props to keep your request to dance from seeming super serious.
- Hold up a piece of pizza and say, “Would you like to dance with me, or is that too cheesy?”
- Point to chips and salsa and say, “I know we’re not salsa dancing, but do you want to dance anyway?”
- Walk up to her with a can of soda, and ask, “So-da you think it’s a good idea if we dance together?”

Method 5

Method 5 of 10:
Use a really formal request for an old-timey approach.

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Try the line, “May I have this dance?”^{[5]
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Research source} This line might be perfect at a cotillion dance or formal school ball, but you can also use it as a funny line to break the ice at a regular middle school dance. Extend your hand out towards her, or offer her your arm to exaggerate the sincere, yet comedic effect.

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Method 6

Method 6 of 10:
Pair a genuine compliment with a request to dance.

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Tell her that you like one of her traits or part of her outfit. Stick to items of clothing and aspects of her personality, rather than making comments about her body. Keep your compliments school-appropriate and respectful.^{[6]
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- “I really like your dress. Do you want to dance with me?”
- “Hey, I think you’re really cool and really funny. Would you want to dance with me?”

Method 7

Method 7 of 10:
Try a direct and polite approach for a slow dance.

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Ask, “Would you like to dance with me?” This one’s a tried-and-true method that lets her know you’re a classy person. Make eye contact and smile as you ask, to show her that you’re confident.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Expert Interview. 25 October 2021.} If your school allows polite contact between dancing partners, offer her your hand to lead her onto the dance floor.^{[8]
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Research source}

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Method 8

Method 8 of 10:
Create a cute note or sign ahead of time.

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To ask her in a more romantic way, plan ahead. If your school doesn’t allow taking a date to the dance, you can still use a small gesture to ask her for a dance during the event itself. Just write out your question on a piece of paper or a sticky note!
- Draw a picture of one of her hobbies or interests. For example, draw a soccer ball and say: “It’s been a goal of mine to ask you to dance with me!”
- Use a reference to a popular movie or song: “If this were the Yule Ball at Hogwarts, would you dance with me?”

Method 9

Method 9 of 10:
Start dancing nearby, and see if she joins in.

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For a low-stress option, form a dance circle with your friends, close to your crush. At middle school dances, it’s normal for people to dance in big groups rather than in pairs.^{[9]
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Research source} Make a dance circle by surrounding one or two people at the center who want to show off their moves. Take turns being at the center, and pretty soon, other people might start to join the group—including the girl you like.
- Make eye contact with her and smile if you see her across the dance circle.^{[10]
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- If you'd rather dance by yourself, try breaking out some impressive dance moves, like the Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, or Argentine Tango.^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Hebert Aguilar
  Professional Dancer & Choreographer
  Expert Interview. 25 October 2021.}
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Method 10

Method 10 of 10:
Don’t take it personally if she turns you down.

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Say something like, “If you change your mind, let me know!” While it might sting a little to hear “no,” accept her response. Give her a smile and walk away, and you’ll come off as confident, strong, and mature.^{[12]
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Research source} Congratulate yourself for asking anyway, because that takes major guts!
- Remember—if she says no, that's her loss. Now you know, and you can move onto the next person.^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Hebert Aguilar
  Professional Dancer & Choreographer
  Expert Interview. 25 October 2021.}

Community Q&A

Question

How do you slow dance in middle school?

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

Hebert Aguilar

Professional Dancer & Choreographer

Expert Answer

Feel the connection with your partner by doing a two-step basic or a side-to-side rocking motion. This will get you both moving and ease the awkward tension of standing there and doing nothing. The most important thing is to smile and have fun!
Question

How do you relax when dancing?

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

Hebert Aguilar

Professional Dancer & Choreographer

Expert Answer

Be honest about how you're feeling! There's nothing wrong with saying "I'm a beginner" or "Have patience with me, I'm still learning" during your first few dances.